More studying

I can play footsie without it getting weird! Give me your foot goddammit!

I may have killed a man. Went to Best Buy because my iPod was acting weird. It would play the first ten seconds of a song and then skip to another one. So I was trying to describe this to the guy, and I said "I'm listening to the Beatles and then it's like 'Suck my dick!', which I'm pretty sure isn't how the song goes" and he started choking and runs in the back. I never saw him again. Should I send a condolences card to Best Buy? I'm not sure how to react to this situation that I have created.

I overheard this girl in my class today say the exam was the "hardest thing ever." I muttered "second hardest." She didn't think it was funny. I think she's a lesbian.

I watched the election coverage on Fox because I hate myself.

Bisexuality?

She's everything I want in a woman. And most things I want in a man.

Studying

Rita: "I think I may have....tried viagra at least once"
Me: *falls off chair*
Rita: "That was supposed to be two sentences!"

A special guest quote from our Abnormal Psych prof:
"I'm surprised no one has come up to me and said 'Sorry I was late, I was masturbating and just couldn't pull the trigger' "

There was one about me dating asses, but that was more of a figurative thing.

I don't know what your problem is but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

Just because it fits in your mouth does not mean it belongs there.