Thursday, November 4, 2010
Reflections from McDonalds
"Old person strip bingo: When you win, everyone else looses."
"It's like a jelly bean, covered in cinnamon, dipped in cocaine and used as a suppository. Cinnamon so it burns and cocaine to fuck you up."
"This is not going to be a normal field trip."
- On reflection: "That had something to do with a school bus going up my vagina, didn't it?"
"Of course I'm drunk officer, it's a Tuesday."
"Just making out isn't enough. We're not in grade school anymore."
"Life is a STD with a 100% mortality rate."
"You make me feel warm inside. Kind of like heartburn."
"Abstinence makes the heart grow fungus. That's how that goes, right?"
"You're the skankiest prude I've ever known."